Who am I?

This is a question I have asked myself over and over again during this journey, I don't actually know who I am! So like a millennial does I searched google looking for someone else to solve my problem. I found a site that promoted "24 life-changing questions I have to ask" so here it goes

1. Where will I be in 5 years if I keep heading in this direction

This is a great first question, as it would have been a totally different answer just 6 months ago. Now in 5 years, I see myself debt free! That is the only real plan I have. I want the flexibility to do what I want with my life. Although I don't know what that is just yet. 

 

2. What if today was my last day

I would be gutted as I'm stuck away from home and away from the people I love. If this was my last day I would be sat writing something meaningful for my wife and my two amazing boys. I still have so much to teach them and so many experiences I want to experience with them. I would write about how happy they have made me, and how much I wish them to be happy and remain happy in my absence.

 

3. Do I volunteer enough

Considering I don't volunteer at all I'm going to have to say no, I have never really thought about volunteering, however, I think if I can find the right cause I would do it, so there is room for improvement in the future.

 

4. Do I want to have children

I already have my boys and could not imagine my life having any worth without them.

 

5. Should I finish my education or figure out what I want to do first

I have always just gone with the best opportunities available at the time, I never set out to be well educated or just work I acted proactively and kept my eyes open to opportunities I'm now in a good position but even at 36 I never turn away a opportunity to learn something new and I always pursue my interests.

 

6. Do I see myself married or in a committed relationship

I have been married for 11 years now!

 

7. Should I have plastic surgery

No, I like what I see in the mirror

 

8. Do I want to settle down or have the freedom to move around

Another question I would have answered differently 6 months ago. I want to be more mobile I would love to spend a few years living and working in different countries it's hard when you have kids though. My heart says yes my head says no.

 

9. Am I who I want to be

I like who I am and I would love to be more of who I want to be but for now, I'm taking every day as it comes.

 

10. Am I happy with my career choice

Yes! I love my job especially the technical aspects but I don't love politics.

 

11. Should I ask my boss for a raise

No point they would just say no!

 

12. Have I experienced enough of other cultures

I'm lucky enough to say I have had the opportunity to work and live all around the world, I would love to experience the cultures more by living in more interesting places. Maybe I need to home school, my children, then we could live anywhere, and not feel guilty about them losing struggling at school

 

13. Am I dating/ Married to / committed to the right person

My wife and I talk about this all the time as we are completely different but we work. We bring out the good and bad in each other it's like a perfect sweet and sour dish. I would not change her for anyone.

 

14. Am I living with a positive outlook and a passion for life

I believe I'm a positive person. I'm not a constant ray of sunshine but I'm happy and I live my life with a passion although misguided at times.

 

15. Are the people in my social circle having a positive effect on my life

Until recently no but after changing our life around, we have managed to get rig of most of the negative influencers in our lives but some you just can't get away from.

 

16. Am I living a physically / Mentally/ spiritually healthy lifestyle

For the first time in my life, I feel I have a balance between all three of these mindsets, I'm in the best physical shape of my life I exercise and eat well. I constantly challenge myself mentally learning new things increasing my understanding of as many different interesting things as possible. I believe I get more and more spiritual by the day, I attended a church service for my sons christening the service was good and made you feel warm inside which actually had me thinking I want this feeling more often.

 

17. Do I take time to stop and enjoy the simple things around me

Historically no, but recently I have been appreciating what I have rather than what I don't so I have found a new appreciation for the simple things around me.

 

18. What would I change if I saw the world through a child's eye

How we treat the planet we live on, how we consume rather than appreciate the beauty and wonder around us. How we treat other people and how we neglect our family

 

19. Have I set money aside for an emergency

No! this is an area where I'm trying to improve.

 

20. Am I financially prepared to retire

Yes currently at 60 but that's better than 68. hopefully, my new plans pay off and I can pursue my dreams and semi-retire at 50 but that is currently just a pipe dream.

 

21. How much money do I waste a month on worthless meaningless items

As of 3 months ago zero, I now monitor all spending under the following categories Living, Luxury, Shop debt, Savings and Experiences. Ultimately experiences are the things that make me happy this can range from a weekend away with the wife or a family holiday. A hiking trip with my mate or just doing something fun with my kids.

 

22. Am I spending enough time with the people I value most

No! I'm a bad son, I don't see my mother nearly enough, this is going to change!

 

23. Have I accomplished the dreams and goals I set for myself

To date, I only have to build a house left on my original set of goals but I'm now developing a new set of goals to keep life interesting.

 

24. How have I improved as a result of my experiences

In every way till recently I only careered about my success until I failed and saw that I was wasting my life chasing a feeling I can get from living a simpler life, it is the reason I started blogging as I want people to know life is not about money and success my experiences have shown me a new path one I plan to enjoy and document and share. 

 You should ask yourself these questions they do make you think about who you are and who you want to be. I would have loved reading my answers 6 months ago before my life

3 months on the road to minimalism

I'm very surprised how rewarding I have found this transition, from mainstream capitalist to off path minimalist. It has not been an effortless transition, it has however been incredibly rewarding both personally and financially.

I started this journey on the 16th of June when I wrote my first blog post “The day my life changed” this was shortly after I almost lost everything when the failure of my business came from nowhere. I was down and stressed, contemplating the worst when I discover a concept via a documentary call “The minimalists” on Netflix. After watching the hour-long documentary, I decided to do my research and the rest is history. I now class myself as a born-again-human, with a new exciting journey ahead. The life I always imagined I would lead, has completely changed to the point where I class myself as practically a different person.

On the 27th of June I wrote a blog titled "First step towards a minimalist life" if you read that blog, you will vaguely remember how I discussed how I was going to reduce my need for material things and stop impulse purchasing. I touched on reducing my wardrobe which has changed my outlook completely

I am proud to say I have not purchased a single item in three months, not a major achievement but it is in my eyes a successful step towards my goal.

I have stuck to my wardrobe reduction and taken it to a new level not only did I remove all unnecessary items of clothing from my wardrobe, but I really thought about the items I kept while trying to keep to a max number of 33 items of clothing, excluding socks and underpants. Well for the first month anyway as while I was getting dressed one morning I thought to myself “why do I wear underpants?”. After asking a few of my work buddies, I concluded it was because sometimes we dribble after we have a wee. “It catches the dribbles before it comes through on your pant” said one of my co-workers. Now being a minimalist is all about cutting out what we don't need, and I always have enough time to shake after having a wee. I binned all my underpants and I have not looked back since! I feel one step closer to Eden in a strange way.

On the 12 of August in my blog "How I control spending" I wrote about how I have had to make the biggest changes in my adult life and the hardest to manage, with my family who are not liking the new strict regime and have likened it to living in a cult. However, we have managed to find middle ground where both sides feel they can be happy. I

 now know how important a budget is, if you can make a forecast of where you will be if you achieve every milestone. It can be used as an incredibly motivating tool, to help you achieve your goal and help you hold your resolve. I use excel to break my expenditure into different segments, and at the end of a month I create a pie chart to show where our money is going. once I have seen, how our money was getting spent I make plans to cut those bills. The results require their own blog post coming soon called "Money stop wasting it".

The hardest thing I have experienced is differentiating the difference between a need and a want, harder still convincing my wife that her wants are not needs. This area has been the biggest area of controversy since I took up this new mantra, as anyone who is in a relationship knows nothing gets a couple fighting quicker than one telling the other they can’t do something they really want to do. Compromises were made and both of us feel at least we have a watered-down happy medium version of what we want out of life.

Areas where we have made good savings is when we plan our meals a week in advance on the 7th July in my blog "Planning food for a minimalist family" I touched on basic nutrition for a modern diet that I believe is healthy and sustainable, using good fat to fuel the body which requires us eating less but specific high fat foods (healthy fats) and low carbs and moderate protein. This diet is far more sustainable than high carbs and proteins of mainstream diets. However, the main point of that blog was planning your meals, eat the same things regularly and you will save money. This would be accelerated by growing your own produce, which would not just save you more money but more importantly reduce your carbon foot print. 

I have not made any headways as I’m still trying to get my allotment. I have proven that forward planning works when I plan our meals for the weak and buy what we need, I have managed to feed a family of four on £36pw which is about 70% reduction in our weekly shopping bills then when we don’t plan.

Reducing the clutter that stops us from enjoying our personal space, has been a struggle. A lot of the stuff that clutters our house is mine built up from my previous life of the more stuff I have the more successful I was. I rammed it all in the garage and declared my zones of the house as clutter free zones that nobody can put anything in. On the 6 Aug I wrote a blog titled “Cutting out the clutter” I discussed how I was going to start getting rid of all my possessions, using local car boot sales which has been particularly enjoyable. I now know that if I want something, I can get it for a steel at a car boot. As I have sold possessions for next to nothing just to get rid. I can now at least walk into my garage still have some way to go but if you look at the before photo in the above link you can see the positive steps made. More importantly I have got to spend time with my wife without the distractions of our busy life at home, while removing the clutter from our life.

In Summary, I’m enjoying the new direction my life is going and I’m excited for a future where I have little or no dependence on material things to bring me happiness. I have learnt that my happiness is not linked to possessions but experiences. I plan to continue reducing my outgoing and need for material possessions and focus on growing my experiences and memories with my family at my side. I would rather spend £500 on a trip away doing something memorable than having nice decorations on a wall that will date but the memories of the trips and experiences with my wife and boys will live forever, in the pictures and my thoughts. When I’m gone my boys will remember me! Hopefully I can help them learn earlier in life that life is for living not accumulating stuff.

Why my business failed and what you can learn from it

I failed at business but what I learnt through that failure has changed my life. I want to share the positives and negatives, the things I did right and the things I did wrong with you. 

Most businesses fail that's a fact but what you don't hear about, is how the failure of these businesses cause people to lose their families their personal assets and in the end, the number of these people take their own lives. Since they don't see a way out or they can’t handle the shame of failure or the thought of being talked about.

I understand all this as when my business collapsed I almost lost everything. There was a moment that if I did not have a strong partner, life as I know it could have ended.  Luckily for me, she stood at my side and we worked through the minefield together. I could have kept the business shortcomings from her and taken out more loans and continued pressing forward, as pride could have got the better of me and the gamble would have been a success or lose everything. I decided to cut my losses and although I lost plenty of money and now life is a bit tighter it was not enough to change my life in a negative way. In fact, it opened my eyes to a new way of life that is far more rewarding.

If I can save just one person through the power of words, then my failure would not be a failure, so here it goes.

I feel now that all is said and done, and the business has been liquidated. I should share my failures with the world, to save someone else from making the same mistakes as I did.

Firstly, my business failed but it was not a failure, and although I count the business as one of my failures in life the lessons and experience I gained from doing it were priceless. I learnt more about business, people and myself in the two years I worked on the business then I had in my entire adult life to date working for larger corporations. Although I would not purposely do it again due to the things I discovered about myself personally, I know if I did it again it would be a success.

Overview: the business was supposed to be a restaurant that turned into a take away on a night, we were going to offer everything from coffeeshop fair to Italian food from early morning till late at night. eat in or delivered.

Planning

Planning has always been my strong point and my business plan was meticulously planned.  The issue was I planned to do too much! When we opened we were open from 8am to 10pm every day. Doing so much increase our build costs by 25%, equipment costs by 50% and our wage bill by 66%. As planned to trade during the day time, we went for a town centre location this increased our rent bill by 50% which ate up all our start-up capital had we started smaller and more streamlined, we could have had a lot more cash in the bank to see us through the start-up phase and onward to profitability.

Things we did right!

Lease negotiations: we negotiated the lease to be in the businesses name that protected us in the event of closure. If you can't get the landlord to agree then don't rent those premises.

Product: our product was superior to our competition, people loved our food.

Fix your budget: When I started the business, I had a fixed amount of capital, a lot of it was acquired through loans. I took the maximum I could afford, and that was all the money I had at no point was I going to take another loan for the business. Know your limits do not risk everything unless you are prepared to lose everything.

Things we did wrong

Services: We tried to do too much from the start, which could have worked had costa not opened 4 months before we open our doors. We should have identified the competition in Costa and Greg's and identified there was no means for us to compete straight away, we should have focused on one of the services in the beginning that did not clash with the already establish the trade. Had we focused on the Take-away side, we could have found a cheaper and potentially already renovated unit for half the rent and renovation costs we paid. 

Staff: When we opened we had too many staff this cost us a valuable chunk of our start up cash over the first 6 months. Started off with 10 employees it took us 6 months to get it down to 6 and another 3 months to get it down to 4 we lost the sum that sunk the company in wages alone.

Equipment: should have bought our catering equipment from an auction this would have been easily procured and if we had focused on just the takeaway side we could have bought all our equipment for less. Instead, we leased the equipment which was easy to begin with but cost us dearly when we were faced with closing the business. As the contract stated that the debt would transfer to us personally which has resulted in us to experience massive monthly payment even though the business was a limited company. 

If I was to do it again I would buy all the assets in my own name and lease them to my business that way if you ever close your doors you only need to find a new premise and start again. I only found out too late that this is how most small takeaway businesses function

Lease for unit: we should have negotiated a better-tiered lease that could have increased with our turnover.

Execution: Although our menu was good and food quality and hygiene, set at the highest standard. We could not get the majority we planned to get, due to high start-up costs and the opening of a major competitor months before we opened. This put us under financial pressure from the onset. This reduced our ability to advertise and reduced the availability of new customers looking for a change. Pricing was an issue altogether due to our inexperience, we priced to be competitive with others but we were competing with establishments that operated small and did not have to register for VAT. 

Our biggest downfall was pricing this cost us dramatically, we had too much trade in the beginning that affected our quality and our profit was just enough to pay our bills, but not the VAT bill that followed which ultimately put us in a position that required the business to close its doors.

There is plenty more to say on the matter, but I can’t think but please feel free to ask a question in the comments and I will be more than happy to answer. Remember failure is just a lesson and those who don't try will never fail at anything other than life because you should follow your heart, and your passion and never be ashamed to admit you failed or made a mistake and know that a true partner in life will never turn their back on you.

How I control my spending

When living on an extreme budget as I must for the next 5 years. You need to make sure that when you spend money it’s on the things you need not want. This is sometimes the hardest thing to differentiate between a need and a want. We often think we need something but we really just want it. 

I generally ask myself the following questions before making any purchase, if I say yes and buy this item what will I have to say no to? It's quite simple If I spend £50 of my disposable income on a pair of shoes that's £50 I can't spend with my family doing something as a family. So, I have to really need those shoes or I'm just choosing myself over my family.

Debt is often the reason most of us find ourselves having to manage our money in such a tight manner, that’s because we said yes to too many things or in my case epically failed at your own business to the point your outgoing are your incomings. 

Management of short-term debt, namely credit cards, can be paid off quick using a technique called laddering. You use your food shopping and fuel budgets, to help reduce your credit cards. By paying the budgeted amount into a maxed-out credit card this ensures you can only spend the maximum of what we have. This ensures you are frugal when making purchases. We plan our meals and order our shopping online from a list generated from what’s run out and the minimum that's needed for the week. We try to use up all the leftovers before we buy groceries again. If we throw away food, we remove that amount from the food budget as it's not needed. Every time the credit card ends a month £500 down from the allowable balance. We change the limit to ensure we don't get careless, this helps reduce the monthly interest and helps us to speed up the rate we pay our cards off.

Impulse purchase control, I have destroyed all my bank card and credit cards except one which stays in my draw, when I identify something I need I can't impulse buy I will need to go home and get my card this means I have time to think about how much I want/ need the item. Remember if you really need the item you would probably already own one.

Remove all retail apps from your phone this helps reduce the temptation I used to have over £500 in my Amazon's queue waiting for payday.

I would spend hours and hours searching different things from gadgets to houses never happy with what I had always miserable that I did not have the newest and latest.

Phone before

Now my phone only has food shopping apps as I look who has the cheapest of what I need to plan my menus and enjoy my down time with my family or writing this blog

To control your spending, you need to have a goal. I have a plan our 5-year plan to get out of debt it’s a hard one but it's achievable, not only does the plan get us out of debt it secures our future as once we owe nothing we then own everything we have, and we are safe.

Change is always hard, change when you don’t want to change is impossible. Sometimes change is thrust upon us and we need to embrace it and sometimes we discover a new way of thinking and we realise we have been wrong for years. I hope you find these posts interesting and although you might not agree with some of the content it is all the lessons from my life

Thank you for reading

Cutting out the clutter

First difficult stage to overcome on my minimalist journey was to clear out our garage which is full of valuable yet unwanted stuff. Until now I  have not been able to bring myself to release these possessions as my old mindset kept telling me "I am going to need these items one day" constantly like a devil on my shoulder!

We have accumulated so much stuff through years of consumerism that we cannot even enter our garage.
This is the point where I  have to be honest and admit I'm struggling with this step, selling / giving stuff away is harder than I thought it would be. I  managed to get over it as although it has cost us a small fortune to fill this garage, 90% is now just clutter and proof that the way we were living was not a sustainable lifestyle.
So we decided as a family we would band together and sort through this mountain of stuff and attend local car boot sales until it was all gone.

This is a great experience for me and my 7 year-old boy who really enjoyed selling his old unwanted stuff, so he could save up for what he really wants. There were moments when we were selling items of value for half of what we believed they were worth, that I wanted to just put the items back in the car! I just kept telling myself, have I used it in the last 60 days and will I need it in the next 60 days? if both answers were no, It went to it's new owner.
Now we are nowhere near selling all our stuff, however we have made a good start and more importantly we are entering this journey together as a family, spending the time together was really nice. No distractions apart from the keen customers purchasing our stuff.

How the road to minimalism is changing me

While cutting out the clutter that complicated my life,  I stumbled onto a state of mind that has changed me. I had no idea releasing all that I did not need, was going to change me on a emotional and spiritual level.

Minimalism has strengthened my resolve and helped me to improve my life and in turn my relationship. It has allowed me to dump my narcissistic tendencies, and gave me the opportunity to look at my life from another perspective. I'm starting to see the world through my partners eyes, its a softer and more sensitive world. I'm starting to listen! and after our conversations, I'm thinking of how I would feel  if I was feeling those feelings of insecurity that my partners experiencing. Instead of pushing the thoughts to the side and dismissing them as week, I'm trying to embrace them, I want to feel her pain so I can support her better. 

Before I adopted the minimalistic approach to life, I was always to busy to stop and even try to understand the emotions my partner was trying to get me to understand. I saw time where I was just still as a waste of time. This made me miss everything I had right in front of me. A women who loves me and two health boys who have there own  unique characters, who need their dad. All I saw was I need more money! I know someone who has a better house, or I just need to earn more money, so we can stay in the fancy hotels and post them on Facebook for everyone to see!

What was I thinking!

I have wasted my life chasing dreams of others, when I had everything of dreams right in front of me the whole time. I was just too selfish to listen to her express her concerns, which I saw as pure obstacles to me getting what I wanted. Instead of trying to understand her perspective and work towards a common goal, I shut her out and proclaimed that she was being difficult. I hid behind the statement "I don't  understand what she was trying to say". In the end all she needed was me to stop and listen and think, she was not an obstacle she is the one holding the ladder. I was just to stubborn to see it.

Now I want for nothing I have an excess of material things as I'm still progressing towards minimalist perfection, but with every step I move closer to my desire minimalist lifestyle it makes me appreciate the things I chosen to keep.
My prized possessions are my wife and children! I know now that if I had nothing but them I would still be happy, and still feel like I have achieve success.

Life changing events happen to us all but only a few times, no matter how good or bad they are there is always a opportunity. For me my worst experience has lead to my best opportunity. Now I know I have never been interested in money but I have been searching for this state of mind. I thought being rich would bring me happiness/ contentment, it turns out its the complete opposite. The less I have the more I appreciate it, what I have now has greater  meaning and value than the cost of the item itself.

After 12 years of being with the amazing women I call my wife, I now realise that what we have is beautiful but like everything in life it needs to be looked after now that my distractions are fewer my focus on my relationship is paying dividends, we are happier and working through our issues as we now have time and interest.
I guess what I'm trying to promote from this blog is that by choosing a  minimalist life to whatever degree you need, it will change you! Money can bring you enjoyment but it does not bring happiness, I now have no spare money as I pay for my sins and I'm happier now then I have ever been.
Spend time with those you love, build meaningful connection with like minded people. Have a open mind and life will only get better.

Things parents should teach their children

Parents should teach their children when they young before they get corrupted that there is more to life than money! They should show them how easy it is to get caught up in the debt trap. They should teach their children to be themselves even if it is not easy, to be happy with what they have and to think about what's important.
The first thing I'm going to tell my children is don't get debt! Now I'm sure your all thinking we all need debt to get what we want. How else will you get that new car, designer jeans and your own place!
My answer is simple save!
When my boys leave school and hopefully go to university they will be told save your money attend any of the local universities so you don't have to live in rented accommodation, instead save the money you would waste on accommodation, food and bills in a high interest account.
The average living costs for a student in Edinburgh are £695 a month only £35 of that cost would still be applicable if they stay at home.

Now think the average degree takes 4 years if they stayed at home they could save £33,475.

To have that in their bank at 22 is an achievement on its own. The most important thing to remember is that they have not had to change anything else about the student experience. So all their spare money has still been spent on partying and living the student life cause hey they are adults now. All I ask is you treat our home with respect but they can come and go as they please bring who they want around have the occasional party when we are away. If it means they stay at home and save then I'm happy.
Once they graduate and find job they should stay home while they work their way up continuing to save. Stay home till 30 if that's what it takes.

That means they can leave home walk into their first house mortgage free. Mortgage free at 30! As a parent I can't even describe how excited that makes me feel for my children. Now that £9135.54 seems like nothing when it comes to interest but if you add the money he would save on a mortgage over 20 years

That's now around the £64k that's a lot of money.
The next important thing we should teach our children is don't finance a car if you can help it, but if you need to as you need to get to work and back and you have not saved enough then remember the 7 year rule.
The 7 year rule allows you to start with nothing finance your first car over 5 years for example buy a £15k car pay it off over 5 years

Then keep it another 2 years after it's paid off and save the payments

This means after 7 years even if your car is worth nothing your next £15k will only need £7592.25 financed if you keep your payments around the same, you will pay this car off in 3 years

But by keeping the car for another 4 years and saving the payments you will end up with £11872.69 to put towards your next car.

The next year the finance will be for just over a year

Then once to save for the next 5 years 10month your next car will be yours with no loans

You could get a holiday included with your next car purchase as a reward
Additionally going forward you can achieve the savings you need  by saving £50 less a month

All the examples above highlight how using credit holds you back, it traps you in a vicious circle.
The biggest and most important lesson I can teach my children is be happy with less they don't need loads of cloths with designer labels, you don't need a new car if it is not broken, and don't rush to live on your own. If they live a minimalist life with  minimalist expectations  they will save money buy what they need not what you want.