First step towards a minimalist life.

So, as I mentioned in my last post I have recently moved into a new house. New home! New start as they say, my goal is to slowly strip away my need for material things as I continue my quest in search of inner peace. This is a very difficult step as I need to handle the transition with care as my family are not ready to change, so I don't want to force my new views on my family as I want them to choose their own path and join me at the level they feel most comfortable.

My first change is to remove all my own impulsive purchases for stuff! not food items though! This would be just too much at once. Reducing my consuming is a challenge not only has it been a major source of entertainment for me for the last 10 years but additionally, as we are in a new house with new colour schemes and room sizes, a lot of our furniture is too large or the wrong colour. So, I'm looking to adapt each item, I will paint or upholster each piece to create the desired effect where possible. I will use YouTube to learn new painting technics and how to upholster, this is a major step change in the way I have lived my life. Now all I need to do is persuade my wife that she should let me try before she buys what she wants.

This is a new challenge, we used to just buy a new replacement on a whim and take the old to the dump which was wasteful and unsustainable. Reusing old by upgrading it, and where I can't look for a second-hand alternative is a far more sustainable and rewarding way of life. Although my wife still needs convincing, but she too is listening and thinking before spending.

My other big change is reducing my wardrobe size this does not seem like an area where major savings can be made but by reducing my need for cloths especially all unpractical items that only really contribute to fashion, I will save in the future as my wardrobe has been streamlined and built to suit my lifestyle.

T-shirts, jeans, shorts and sleepwear make up my day to day, I have a single suit now for weddings and funerals. Outdoor ware and specific items like gym ware and hiking cloths are not included in the cull. I have gone from a double wardrobe to 7 plastic draws and a vacuum storage bag. I'm not going to win any fashion shows, but my wardrobe is now as down to earth as I want to become. Going forward I will only replace perished cloths, with high quality cloths made in the UK. Whether this is possible or not, it is the target. Eventually I would like to only wear made in the UK. Hopefully this will identify areas where we are lacking as a nation and inspire people to create their own cottage industries.

The day my life changed.

I will never forget my 36th birthday as it was the day when my outlook on life changed forever. I was the capitalistic poster boy for living the capitalistic dream, commanding a six-figure salary, owned 4 houses, had a small business and my children attended private school. On my birthday during a meeting with my accountant he gave me the worst news,  a major unplanned bump in the road that we couldn't legitimately recover from. 
My inexperience in business had caused me to overlook a major business expense. I had to make a difficult but quick decision to keep pushing forward and get myself into more debt while risking my family's security or close the business. After contacting a few of our current lenders, it became very clear they were not interested in helping us. Even though we were a small business on the cusp of success, with good healthy turnover and a growing bank of customers. They were only interested in security, namely my personal assets. So, I chose to close the business thinking it was a limited company and the debt would die with the business. I was so wrong, my inexperience and over confidence caused me to miss that two of the major creditors had clauses in their agreements, where the debt transferred to the directors personally and added to my personal debt. I had taken out loans to open the business and with the addition guarantors to my name, it resulted in a loss of over £149000 with interest. 

Hard to swallow! 

I sold my houses and reduced my out goings and in the processes changed my life around to keep our current lifestyle. We managed to protect our boys from ever feeling the stress we were feeling "mostly" anyway.

This put my relationship under extreme pressure to the point where I could have lost my best friend. This would have been 10x worse than having to deal with the shame of going bankrupt. Luckily my amazing wife kept it together! She helped me sorted out a payment plan with all our creditors, that facilitated us to continue our way of life. Now we are stuck under a mountain of debt while trying to support the old lifestyle which we had grown accustomed to.

This is when I discovered minimalism in my darkest hours when I feared losing everything, I contemplated suicide over the shame of my failures! I asked myself would it be that bad if I lost everything? The answer was "no" as long as I have my wife and my children I would be ok. This experience has changed my life and my definition of success. My wife and I made a plan downsized our house, so we can focus and pay it off in 6 years. We have had to get rid of a lot of stuff, selling furniture for less than what we owed on finance still. 

Which was even harder to swallow!

I learnt through this process that the stuff we own, should bring us lasting happiness. If it doesn't we don't need it and should not buy it.

I now realise no matter what I thought we had the banks own everything. Because we replace it as soon as it is marked, or we think people might look down at us this is usually before it is even paid off. We are the cash cow that makes the rich, rich! Before this I mindlessly consumed everything I could afford and worst what I could not afford. It's scary but in my short life I have borrowed nearly a £1000000 that is a lot of interest paid, no wonder we don't get anywhere but the banks love us.

Houses are mortgaged, cars are financed and the stuff in our house is worthless the second it's bought  in today's throw away culture.

I have to work for 5 years just to pay our creditors, during this time I'm going to strip down my life as much as possible. I now realise I value my family and the few people I call friends the most. Having nearly lost them in the process I now appreciate what I had, luckily before I lost it.

I now know, I was living an unsustainable life. Keeping up with the Jones's even though I thought I was leading the pack. I'm going to work with my children and wife towards a minimalistic life and see how close we can all get together. I believe our boys will be happier than I was, well educated so they can choose their own path but balanced enough to know to pursue their dreams over the pursuit of stuff and money is far more important.  
A lesson that took me 36 years to learn unfortunately the hard way.

This is the first of many blogs on our journey to happiness. The lessons I have learned and how they now shape the future of our family.