Teaching our children the joy of owning less

It is difficult to teach our children the joys of owning less when they are surrounded by a world of people wanting more.

In an increasingly materialistic world, our children search for acceptance within their peer groups which inevitably comes at a cost. Marketing routinely and intentionally targets these young adult demographics, knowing that once they get the minds and buying power of the youth, they will continue to have it for many years to come.

When our children begin to mature and start making their own choices, they use their peer network to aid their decisions making rather than looking to their parents for the answers. This creates a formidable challenge for parents, getting the minimalistic message through to our children and their friends. The message of sustainable consumerism as opposed to the excessive norm.

 Many of our children’s significant decisions are still ahead of them. The message of simplicity and frugality helps equip them to make wise decisions when the time domes. By teaching them that debt is not the solution and that financial freedom comes firstly living with in their means, will put them in a great position for the future.

 Reaching our children before the turn to their peer groups for the answers is so critical as educating them before their spending habits are formed will aid in counteracting the peer affects.

 As parents that have gained the knowledge that a fulfilled life is not gained from consumerism. Consumerism gives you small hits of what feels like fulfilment but ultimately all it brings is decades of financial burden and empty promises of fulfilment. We as parents need to recognize an important opportunity to inspire our children to pursue lives of greater value over financially focused success.

 As parents we need to mentor our children not with lectures about what they need to do. We need to demonstrate it with our own action by living our values every day.

Consider embracing these important tips for raising consumer conscious children in an age of excess:

 1. Simplicity. Our children are more likely to follow a simplicity model if they see it from their parents. The first (and most important) step in raising minimalist children is to let them experience the joys and benefits of intentionally living with less.

 

2. Idealism. Many teenagers embrace idealism and desire to find a cause that can change the world. Teach them its ok to be different and to pursue their own life.

3. Watch less television. It’s not as hard as you think—and has immediate, positive results for you and your child. Reading together as a family is good for adults and children and it will install some old world charm to family life

4. Make teenagers pay for expensive items themselves. Every parent ought to provide food, clothing, shelter, and necessities. And every parent should give good gifts to their kids. But by teaching them to save for those big ticket items with money raised from working or gifts will create real value explain to them how many hours they worked for that money and even better tell them how many hours you work for that money

5. Teach our children to recognize the underlying message in advertising. Advertisements are not going away and can never be completely avoided. Teach them to think what they are really selling and teach them how to consider purchasing and how it improves their lives as opposed to buying just because it is the norm.

6. Teach our children that life is not easy. Often, as parents we work hard to ensure a significant advantage for our children by providing for them at all costs. But we need to teach them that life is hard work and the more you have the more you work to pay for it. We need to teach them the truths of responsibility, it is hard work maintaining the possessions of life (lawns must be mowed, cars cleaned & maintained, laundry sorted, rooms tidied). Expose our children to this truth as early (and as often) as possible.

 

We only have a finite amount of time to sell, discover the joys of life with less and have more time to enjoy life.

Minimalism, a simpler better life.

Generally, people believe minimalism is for people who have failed in life or who are too lazy to go out and get what they want. They believe being a minimalist means you are sacrificing things. Although generally, people discover minimalism through stress or struggle like I did! It does not mean you cannot afford things, it means you are thoughtful for the items you bring into your life.

While the mainstream perception is hard to change, if you look with an open mind, you would learn that minimalism is a tool. That if used correctly it can improve your life and the life of those around you.

Being a minimalist is a mindset, it is not a set of rules. Although regularly in the minimalist groups on Facebook it can be like you need to keep up with the minimalists. You don’t need to remove everything from your life except a mattress and a lamp, which I have seen countless times where people show off look how great they are at being a minimalist. The point of it is you can actually have more of what you need, or what brings you great joy. Less of what you don’t need, the things you that cause you stress and anxiety. It’s about removing the negative feelings you get when you don’t have the latest and greatest to show off. The Minimalist mindset can help make living life a lot less stressful and more fulfilling.

What minimalism is to me!

My minimalist lifestyle is all about keeping all of the modern conveniences I need, the items that add value to my life. Then by removing all the conveniences that I just want, used once then just watch as it takes up valuable space. I would love to live in a cabin in the woods fully powered by solar electricity, a wood burning stove and a bathroom with a compost toilet system. All my food is grown in my garden, and a few animals providing me with eggs, meat and milk. Currently, this is not a practical option for me, so I live in my modern house in suburbia much the way I did before the change.

I now value my relationships more than material possessions. I make decisions based on what I need instead of what I want. It does not mean the things I buy are cheap because I buy to last I choose quality over price as if I buy something it is something I need, and I want it to last as long as it can. Additionally, I want it to be made by someone who shares my values rather than a distant Chinese manufacturer, this is the hardest step of all.

For me minimalism changes with you, it’s an evolution I have started off being a frugal minimalist. I began my journey by going through my home and getting rid of all the things I no longer needed or used. I now embrace a more minimalist style, for the simple reason it has a calming effect on my soul. I looked at where my money was being spent and I identified where I was wasting the money I earnt.

What has been a minimalist done for me!

I am an incredibly motivated and career orientated person, I work incredibly hard and I earn a good living. Removing all the clutter from my life gave me a new perspective, now instead of spending my money on stuff I don’t need, I plan and save. Pay off all my debts, spend as much time with my wife and children as I can and do things with them I did not have time for before. We now live and get by with the simple bare necessities of life, Like Blue in the jungle book. I make sure our house is in a perfect state of repair (shelter) I make sure we eat good quality (nutrition) and I focus on building good social ties and bonds with my nucleus family and tier 1 and 2 friends and family

To the outside world, I live the same life as everyone else with small changes that bring greater value to my life.

How decluttering my living space has helped me.

When you remove all the unnecessary stuff from the drawers, wardrobes, garages and lofts, you create more space in your home. All that space made me feel like I had more room to breathe. More importantly, when I let go and sold and gave away my stuff, I realized how much money I wasted. When I totaled it up and converted it into an hourly rate I was shocked at how many hours of my life I sacrificed for these items. This gave me the motivation to continue this journey.

 Minimalism helped me refocus my values.

When you obsess over material things, you very rarely just focus on what you have. More often you focus on what you don’t have, this creates negative feelings. You worry about how you are to pay for all the stuff not to mention after a number of years you start to run out of space for all your stuff which creates a whole new stress. When the stuff is gone and the bills of the home are lessened, it becomes possible to focus time and energy on the important things such as the people around you and the things you are doing.

Spend less and you will have more.

The money spent buying the items you don’t need, maintaining them and making sure you have the best and newest models will end up in the pocket of the businesses that drive you to need these items. When you stop spending money on things you don’t need you will need fewer things, you can use your money to pay off debt and that will eventually free up even more money. The idea of minimalism is to remove your dependencies on money, so you can focus on you, your family and important things like raising your children as a present parent.

Time is a valuable commodity that you do not have an infinite amount of

When you need less money, you do not have to work as much. That frees up time. You are also not going to spend as much time dealing with all the extra things in your life. You can focus your time on the things you need and use the extra time that is created on the things you enjoy.

You feel better, your mood is lifted

Without all of the unnecessary complication that material possession bring, you get to waste less energy of doing things you hate and more time doing things you love hopefully with the people you love this is scientifically proven to lift mood as spending time with loved ones amplifies the body’s production of serotonin and oxytocin with lift mood without the need of pharmaceuticals. People without the burden of materialistic values live a healthier and longer life as a result.

Minimalism is lifestyle a choice, you can choose how it will best benefit you. There is no right or wrong when it comes to minimalism despite what people say.

Everyone is different. What most people will find is once they begin their minimalistic journey, the experience will change them their needs will vary depending on the stage of life. Life has infinite possibilities and variable but by using minimalistic values to steer your choices you will find peace, love, happiness and joy. Your relationships will be better than ever. You will feel that your life is not just a meaningless endeavor, instead, you will feel like it’s an amazing journey.

Thanks for reading

My Expedition Happiness

So, six months ago I discovered that my definition of happiness was incorrect. For my entire life, I only ever wanted one thing and that was to be a successful businessman, the day I closed my business down and admitted failure was probably the hardest and saddest day of my life.
From that misery and sorrow came a new feeling, like a phoenix being born from the ashes of everything I had lost. I was now a failure! but nothing changed, my family still loved me and my friends were still my friends. I know in my heart now that my family and friends will always be there, my children still love me and my wife still stands at my side, from that experience I learnt that I don't need much to live a happy life and that failure is only a lesson. When you realise you already have everything, and everything is the people in your life that changes the game and the rules we believe true.

Life is a series of lessons some are easy some are hard, some may seem right and others wrong. In the end, they lead you through a life of your own design. We like to blame others for our shortcomings and take all the credit for our successes but often its the other way round.

When you realise that your success comes from the people you surround yourself with, not your personal achievements. Happiness comes from relationships with the people that surround you and the experiences you share together, not things you show off to people who mean nothing to you. When you understand this and embrace these people you will start to feel better and happier and more motivated than ever, to pursue your ambitions whatever they may be.

Since I stopped thinking about myself and start thinking about those around me, my mood and positivity elevated to levels I have never experienced in my life to date. I have never considered myself an optimist or a people person before I discovered this mindset, but I do now I feel so positive and so connected to people, not just my close circle of friends and family but the broader network of people that I come in contact with every day.

After stripping my life of the material things that I coveted before I never had time to think about my relationships, I did not think of what I contributed to them and what I took from them, as they all were second to my blind ambitions.

Minimalism opened my eyes to what I was wasting my life chasing but the people in my life, who I love changed my life. I'm happy now and I believe it because I'm now open to happiness. I look for meaning in everything I do, I try to connect with all the people I come into contact with on a daily basis, even if it is just to stop say how are you and take in the response with interest and consideration.

If I could teach my children one thing it would be. Stop thinking that having more of anything will make you happy. Happiness is created by people and the relationships you form it is in our biology, it is as important to our body as eating and exercising. Eat the right food and exercise and your body will thrive eat the wrong food and be lazy and you will become weak and sluggish. Relationships are the same full your life with good people be kind and considerate to all and you will be rewarded with happiness treat people badly and surround yourself with people who treat you badly and you will be miserable.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post as always I use this blog to get my learning for my own life experiences I hope you have enjoyed reading this post.

Keto/ palleo enviromentally friendly diet

A change of pace in comparison to my regular blog posts!

This is about two diets that since I started following them my weight and health have become better than ever. I believe if more people adapted the lifestyle and embraced the fundamentals of these two diets. It would change the way the world works, it is not a easy life style choice as there is very little convenience involved. Which is the point its about eating fresh in season food with high natural fat content as the main fuel for your body. It is about going back to the basics before when focused on the calorie value of our food and before we were able to eat our favourite foods all year round because they have been flown from all around the world.  Now that we no longer eat with the seasons we continuously eat food that we like, unfortunately historically they are not the health lean foods. We never move with the seasons there is a reason why there are lean seasons and bountiful ones, eating with the seasons gives our diets the natural control of nutrients.

Firstly I will define the two diets:

The Ketogenic diet focuses on  high natural fat, as the main fuel for the body with a balanced amount of protein and low carbohydrate.

The Palleo diet focuses on types of foods presumed to have been eaten by early humans, consisting chiefly of meat, fish, vegetables and fruit no dairy.

For me the amalgamation of both these diets works, they create a balance of the two extremes. I try stay away from the mainstream staples of potatoes, bread and pasta but with young kids that is not always practical. I use dairy as currently we need butter, cheese and cream as a great source of energy. Sugar is a big NO! We use sweetener when required and stay away from high carbohydrate fruits, due to the fact we don't need to worry about lean periods like our ancestors.

Before I started looking at the environment side of what my family eats, I had no idea how the agricultural industry operated. I watched a documentary called "Sustainable" and "in defence of food" both available on Netflix, these documentaries opened my eyes to the food we eat, how it affects our health and our planet.
The cost of local grown food is higher than the mass produced meats, vegetables and processed products, but by supporting local micro farmers who farm in ecological ways or even just local people who grow their own food in their allotment, and sell there surplus. we can change these industries, the old school financially driven institutions that care nothing about our health or the wellbeing of the animals but care greatly about their margins.

Gathering of ecologically fair trade foods can become a very rewarding way to live. Its a bit like how our ancestors lived, although it seems difficult its much easier than they way they lived. Time is an illusive commodity when living a mainstream life. Working 8 to 10 hours a day does not leave much time for finding food and there in lies the part where people give up, Rome was not built in a day. I have started small cut out one item of convenience at a time look for local sources. If they cannot be found I plan to start growing our own and sell or give away some of our surplus via my Facebook page.

Food like everything else we see is driven by marketing, they manipulate us into believing we need what we don't, now in my previous post "planning food for a minimalist family" I highlighted the importance of creating meal plans to save money, this has worked out very well for the finances now I'm working on expanding to incorporate meals sourced in sustainable and environmentally friendly ways. I searched the internet and found a site with this seasonal grow chart. The next stage of my families eating plan is to start eating more seasonal dishes. Reduce the amount of meat we eat weekly from 7 days to 5 days this will not only save us money but it is kinder to the environment. I read this article on how livestock damage the environment and it made me really take stock. My family consumes vast amount of dairy an meat, now we are not going to become vegetarians or even vegans but we are going to reduce our consumption.

Finding alternative is another time consuming endeavour, we have grown up eating commercially viable foods. We need to train ourselves to think about meals differently, which is difficult as all our knowledge comes from main stream media and books focused on the mass population. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is one of the few writers / broadcasters who fights for seasonal eating.

Minimalism is my guide to life

I consider myself a minimalist, I'm not an extremist. I use minimalism as a tool to identify what's important to me, what brings value to my life, what makes me happy and most importantly what I need.
Need is an important word. I class my needs on three plains my mind, my body and my spirit.
My mind; I consider myself an intellectual, I love learning new things and I need to develop my skills and continuously grow through practice, research and trial and error. I'm technically minded so my garage is full, of tools and projects that I  plan to use in the future to teach my two boys to be the best men they can be.
My body; I class this as everything I need to keep my body healthy, after all, it's the vessel I use to enjoy my journey of life in. Nutrition and exercise are important as I want to be around and functioning as long as I can.
My spirit; I'm not deeply spiritual but I class intangible feelings as my spirit, the feelings I have for my family and all other relationship falls under this section.
Minimalism for me is the guide I use to help me live the best life I can. I like no clutter and love living with only the things I need. I really love spending the money, I have saved by cutting out the excess on travelling with my family.
Minimalism is the best diet you ever need to eat what your body needs not what it wants. Plan your meals to avoid waste, cook what you like as everything is ok in moderation.
Our house is not just the building that protects our bodies from the elements and keeps us safe when we sleep. It's the place where our spirit is lifted, we hold all the things that are important to us in our home.  It's where we spend most of our downtime and the place we raise our children. It's not a place it's our home and although excess is not good you need it to feel homely, but not cluttered.
As a minimalist family, we as parents make sure all the fundamental basics, are there for our children. We give them the pocket money that they spend on what they want, even if we don't agree we give our advice they either take it or don't. They can make their own decisions! I'm a minimalist I'm not a cult leader!
I enjoy living a simpler life, I don't have a simple life I'm in a high-level job that has huge amounts of pressure at times. That is what I like cause at the end of my working day, I switch off and enjoy life with my kids and wife. When they get older our travel destination will get more exotic and more exciting but more rural I have no interest in luxury I want to experience the culture, beautiful destinations and amazing experiences.
Minimalism is my guide to life

Money stop wasting it

While changing my mindset from consumer robot to minimalist conservative, I have had to take a long hard look at my finances and how I spend the money I earn.
If I'm to achieve my goal of being debt free in 5 years.
In order to help me achieve this, I have set out a few rules to assist me with making the right choices.

Simple Rules I try to live by.

1. If it is not on the budget it does not get spent.
2. Don't buy another thing on credit.
3. Save for what you want rather than use credit.
4. Savings are for those emergencies we cant predict or to pay off debt
5. Experiences are important for the family as life is for living not consuming.

By following these rules I find I don't want to spend money on the things I don't really need, especially now I have to save for them. I end up thinking longer before buy that must have gadget I want, but I tend to ask myself is it going to bring me happiness, am I going to use it once or is it going to enrich my life? Then I ask is worth reducing my saving for? More often than not it is not worth it and I just don't buy it.

I use an excel spreadsheet to create my budget now I don't claim to be a genius on excel but  I have managed to create a budget that I'm able segregate my expenditure into the following categories

• Living expenses
• Luxury and unplanned expenditure
• Shop debt
• Savings
• Experiences

I use a pie chart at the end of every month to see where my money is going. By dividing it up the expenditures into percentages, I have been able to set my first goal. Which is on a base lie month to live on 50% of my wage and save 25% and spend the other 25% on experiences. but right now I'm still paying for my failed business. Which is a whole other story which I happily share with my audience "the day my life changed" & "how my business failed" two related posts you might find interesting.

By constantly reviewing and adjusting your model, you can see I'm always trying to reduce my living expenditure, luxury purchases and debt. I can speed up or slow down your progress as long as it complies with the rules you set yourself. I'm focused on paying off my debt but if I have a good month I make sure I do something with my family to remind them life is good and having things are not the memories that make a difference in your life.

I keep a goals sheet where I track all my saving and debt. This allow me to plot the day I become debt free,at the current trajectory May 2024. On that day a month after my 42nd birthday, I will have no mortgage, no car loans, no unsecured loans and no credit cards.

With my targeted base line above I will be able to live on half my wage, which means I could pursue a new career, or just work less. Right now I'm working on that blog "ambitions for the future" which I'm finding interesting as I'm trying to figure out what will make me happy.

 They say life begins at 40 for me that is becoming a reality every day I get closer to a uncorrupted life.

Who am I?

This is a question I have asked myself over and over again during this journey, I don't actually know who I am! So like a millennial does I searched google looking for someone else to solve my problem. I found a site that promoted "24 life-changing questions I have to ask" so here it goes

1. Where will I be in 5 years if I keep heading in this direction

This is a great first question, as it would have been a totally different answer just 6 months ago. Now in 5 years, I see myself debt free! That is the only real plan I have. I want the flexibility to do what I want with my life. Although I don't know what that is just yet. 

 

2. What if today was my last day

I would be gutted as I'm stuck away from home and away from the people I love. If this was my last day I would be sat writing something meaningful for my wife and my two amazing boys. I still have so much to teach them and so many experiences I want to experience with them. I would write about how happy they have made me, and how much I wish them to be happy and remain happy in my absence.

 

3. Do I volunteer enough

Considering I don't volunteer at all I'm going to have to say no, I have never really thought about volunteering, however, I think if I can find the right cause I would do it, so there is room for improvement in the future.

 

4. Do I want to have children

I already have my boys and could not imagine my life having any worth without them.

 

5. Should I finish my education or figure out what I want to do first

I have always just gone with the best opportunities available at the time, I never set out to be well educated or just work I acted proactively and kept my eyes open to opportunities I'm now in a good position but even at 36 I never turn away a opportunity to learn something new and I always pursue my interests.

 

6. Do I see myself married or in a committed relationship

I have been married for 11 years now!

 

7. Should I have plastic surgery

No, I like what I see in the mirror

 

8. Do I want to settle down or have the freedom to move around

Another question I would have answered differently 6 months ago. I want to be more mobile I would love to spend a few years living and working in different countries it's hard when you have kids though. My heart says yes my head says no.

 

9. Am I who I want to be

I like who I am and I would love to be more of who I want to be but for now, I'm taking every day as it comes.

 

10. Am I happy with my career choice

Yes! I love my job especially the technical aspects but I don't love politics.

 

11. Should I ask my boss for a raise

No point they would just say no!

 

12. Have I experienced enough of other cultures

I'm lucky enough to say I have had the opportunity to work and live all around the world, I would love to experience the cultures more by living in more interesting places. Maybe I need to home school, my children, then we could live anywhere, and not feel guilty about them losing struggling at school

 

13. Am I dating/ Married to / committed to the right person

My wife and I talk about this all the time as we are completely different but we work. We bring out the good and bad in each other it's like a perfect sweet and sour dish. I would not change her for anyone.

 

14. Am I living with a positive outlook and a passion for life

I believe I'm a positive person. I'm not a constant ray of sunshine but I'm happy and I live my life with a passion although misguided at times.

 

15. Are the people in my social circle having a positive effect on my life

Until recently no but after changing our life around, we have managed to get rig of most of the negative influencers in our lives but some you just can't get away from.

 

16. Am I living a physically / Mentally/ spiritually healthy lifestyle

For the first time in my life, I feel I have a balance between all three of these mindsets, I'm in the best physical shape of my life I exercise and eat well. I constantly challenge myself mentally learning new things increasing my understanding of as many different interesting things as possible. I believe I get more and more spiritual by the day, I attended a church service for my sons christening the service was good and made you feel warm inside which actually had me thinking I want this feeling more often.

 

17. Do I take time to stop and enjoy the simple things around me

Historically no, but recently I have been appreciating what I have rather than what I don't so I have found a new appreciation for the simple things around me.

 

18. What would I change if I saw the world through a child's eye

How we treat the planet we live on, how we consume rather than appreciate the beauty and wonder around us. How we treat other people and how we neglect our family

 

19. Have I set money aside for an emergency

No! this is an area where I'm trying to improve.

 

20. Am I financially prepared to retire

Yes currently at 60 but that's better than 68. hopefully, my new plans pay off and I can pursue my dreams and semi-retire at 50 but that is currently just a pipe dream.

 

21. How much money do I waste a month on worthless meaningless items

As of 3 months ago zero, I now monitor all spending under the following categories Living, Luxury, Shop debt, Savings and Experiences. Ultimately experiences are the things that make me happy this can range from a weekend away with the wife or a family holiday. A hiking trip with my mate or just doing something fun with my kids.

 

22. Am I spending enough time with the people I value most

No! I'm a bad son, I don't see my mother nearly enough, this is going to change!

 

23. Have I accomplished the dreams and goals I set for myself

To date, I only have to build a house left on my original set of goals but I'm now developing a new set of goals to keep life interesting.

 

24. How have I improved as a result of my experiences

In every way till recently I only careered about my success until I failed and saw that I was wasting my life chasing a feeling I can get from living a simpler life, it is the reason I started blogging as I want people to know life is not about money and success my experiences have shown me a new path one I plan to enjoy and document and share. 

 You should ask yourself these questions they do make you think about who you are and who you want to be. I would have loved reading my answers 6 months ago before my life

3 months on the road to minimalism

I'm very surprised how rewarding I have found this transition, from mainstream capitalist to off path minimalist. It has not been an effortless transition, it has however been incredibly rewarding both personally and financially.

I started this journey on the 16th of June when I wrote my first blog post “The day my life changed” this was shortly after I almost lost everything when the failure of my business came from nowhere. I was down and stressed, contemplating the worst when I discover a concept via a documentary call “The minimalists” on Netflix. After watching the hour-long documentary, I decided to do my research and the rest is history. I now class myself as a born-again-human, with a new exciting journey ahead. The life I always imagined I would lead, has completely changed to the point where I class myself as practically a different person.

On the 27th of June I wrote a blog titled "First step towards a minimalist life" if you read that blog, you will vaguely remember how I discussed how I was going to reduce my need for material things and stop impulse purchasing. I touched on reducing my wardrobe which has changed my outlook completely

I am proud to say I have not purchased a single item in three months, not a major achievement but it is in my eyes a successful step towards my goal.

I have stuck to my wardrobe reduction and taken it to a new level not only did I remove all unnecessary items of clothing from my wardrobe, but I really thought about the items I kept while trying to keep to a max number of 33 items of clothing, excluding socks and underpants. Well for the first month anyway as while I was getting dressed one morning I thought to myself “why do I wear underpants?”. After asking a few of my work buddies, I concluded it was because sometimes we dribble after we have a wee. “It catches the dribbles before it comes through on your pant” said one of my co-workers. Now being a minimalist is all about cutting out what we don't need, and I always have enough time to shake after having a wee. I binned all my underpants and I have not looked back since! I feel one step closer to Eden in a strange way.

On the 12 of August in my blog "How I control spending" I wrote about how I have had to make the biggest changes in my adult life and the hardest to manage, with my family who are not liking the new strict regime and have likened it to living in a cult. However, we have managed to find middle ground where both sides feel they can be happy. I

 now know how important a budget is, if you can make a forecast of where you will be if you achieve every milestone. It can be used as an incredibly motivating tool, to help you achieve your goal and help you hold your resolve. I use excel to break my expenditure into different segments, and at the end of a month I create a pie chart to show where our money is going. once I have seen, how our money was getting spent I make plans to cut those bills. The results require their own blog post coming soon called "Money stop wasting it".

The hardest thing I have experienced is differentiating the difference between a need and a want, harder still convincing my wife that her wants are not needs. This area has been the biggest area of controversy since I took up this new mantra, as anyone who is in a relationship knows nothing gets a couple fighting quicker than one telling the other they can’t do something they really want to do. Compromises were made and both of us feel at least we have a watered-down happy medium version of what we want out of life.

Areas where we have made good savings is when we plan our meals a week in advance on the 7th July in my blog "Planning food for a minimalist family" I touched on basic nutrition for a modern diet that I believe is healthy and sustainable, using good fat to fuel the body which requires us eating less but specific high fat foods (healthy fats) and low carbs and moderate protein. This diet is far more sustainable than high carbs and proteins of mainstream diets. However, the main point of that blog was planning your meals, eat the same things regularly and you will save money. This would be accelerated by growing your own produce, which would not just save you more money but more importantly reduce your carbon foot print. 

I have not made any headways as I’m still trying to get my allotment. I have proven that forward planning works when I plan our meals for the weak and buy what we need, I have managed to feed a family of four on £36pw which is about 70% reduction in our weekly shopping bills then when we don’t plan.

Reducing the clutter that stops us from enjoying our personal space, has been a struggle. A lot of the stuff that clutters our house is mine built up from my previous life of the more stuff I have the more successful I was. I rammed it all in the garage and declared my zones of the house as clutter free zones that nobody can put anything in. On the 6 Aug I wrote a blog titled “Cutting out the clutter” I discussed how I was going to start getting rid of all my possessions, using local car boot sales which has been particularly enjoyable. I now know that if I want something, I can get it for a steel at a car boot. As I have sold possessions for next to nothing just to get rid. I can now at least walk into my garage still have some way to go but if you look at the before photo in the above link you can see the positive steps made. More importantly I have got to spend time with my wife without the distractions of our busy life at home, while removing the clutter from our life.

In Summary, I’m enjoying the new direction my life is going and I’m excited for a future where I have little or no dependence on material things to bring me happiness. I have learnt that my happiness is not linked to possessions but experiences. I plan to continue reducing my outgoing and need for material possessions and focus on growing my experiences and memories with my family at my side. I would rather spend £500 on a trip away doing something memorable than having nice decorations on a wall that will date but the memories of the trips and experiences with my wife and boys will live forever, in the pictures and my thoughts. When I’m gone my boys will remember me! Hopefully I can help them learn earlier in life that life is for living not accumulating stuff.

Why my business failed and what you can learn from it

I failed at business but what I learnt through that failure has changed my life. I want to share the positives and negatives, the things I did right and the things I did wrong with you. 

Most businesses fail that's a fact but what you don't hear about, is how the failure of these businesses cause people to lose their families their personal assets and in the end, the number of these people take their own lives. Since they don't see a way out or they can’t handle the shame of failure or the thought of being talked about.

I understand all this as when my business collapsed I almost lost everything. There was a moment that if I did not have a strong partner, life as I know it could have ended.  Luckily for me, she stood at my side and we worked through the minefield together. I could have kept the business shortcomings from her and taken out more loans and continued pressing forward, as pride could have got the better of me and the gamble would have been a success or lose everything. I decided to cut my losses and although I lost plenty of money and now life is a bit tighter it was not enough to change my life in a negative way. In fact, it opened my eyes to a new way of life that is far more rewarding.

If I can save just one person through the power of words, then my failure would not be a failure, so here it goes.

I feel now that all is said and done, and the business has been liquidated. I should share my failures with the world, to save someone else from making the same mistakes as I did.

Firstly, my business failed but it was not a failure, and although I count the business as one of my failures in life the lessons and experience I gained from doing it were priceless. I learnt more about business, people and myself in the two years I worked on the business then I had in my entire adult life to date working for larger corporations. Although I would not purposely do it again due to the things I discovered about myself personally, I know if I did it again it would be a success.

Overview: the business was supposed to be a restaurant that turned into a take away on a night, we were going to offer everything from coffeeshop fair to Italian food from early morning till late at night. eat in or delivered.

Planning

Planning has always been my strong point and my business plan was meticulously planned.  The issue was I planned to do too much! When we opened we were open from 8am to 10pm every day. Doing so much increase our build costs by 25%, equipment costs by 50% and our wage bill by 66%. As planned to trade during the day time, we went for a town centre location this increased our rent bill by 50% which ate up all our start-up capital had we started smaller and more streamlined, we could have had a lot more cash in the bank to see us through the start-up phase and onward to profitability.

Things we did right!

Lease negotiations: we negotiated the lease to be in the businesses name that protected us in the event of closure. If you can't get the landlord to agree then don't rent those premises.

Product: our product was superior to our competition, people loved our food.

Fix your budget: When I started the business, I had a fixed amount of capital, a lot of it was acquired through loans. I took the maximum I could afford, and that was all the money I had at no point was I going to take another loan for the business. Know your limits do not risk everything unless you are prepared to lose everything.

Things we did wrong

Services: We tried to do too much from the start, which could have worked had costa not opened 4 months before we open our doors. We should have identified the competition in Costa and Greg's and identified there was no means for us to compete straight away, we should have focused on one of the services in the beginning that did not clash with the already establish the trade. Had we focused on the Take-away side, we could have found a cheaper and potentially already renovated unit for half the rent and renovation costs we paid. 

Staff: When we opened we had too many staff this cost us a valuable chunk of our start up cash over the first 6 months. Started off with 10 employees it took us 6 months to get it down to 6 and another 3 months to get it down to 4 we lost the sum that sunk the company in wages alone.

Equipment: should have bought our catering equipment from an auction this would have been easily procured and if we had focused on just the takeaway side we could have bought all our equipment for less. Instead, we leased the equipment which was easy to begin with but cost us dearly when we were faced with closing the business. As the contract stated that the debt would transfer to us personally which has resulted in us to experience massive monthly payment even though the business was a limited company. 

If I was to do it again I would buy all the assets in my own name and lease them to my business that way if you ever close your doors you only need to find a new premise and start again. I only found out too late that this is how most small takeaway businesses function

Lease for unit: we should have negotiated a better-tiered lease that could have increased with our turnover.

Execution: Although our menu was good and food quality and hygiene, set at the highest standard. We could not get the majority we planned to get, due to high start-up costs and the opening of a major competitor months before we opened. This put us under financial pressure from the onset. This reduced our ability to advertise and reduced the availability of new customers looking for a change. Pricing was an issue altogether due to our inexperience, we priced to be competitive with others but we were competing with establishments that operated small and did not have to register for VAT. 

Our biggest downfall was pricing this cost us dramatically, we had too much trade in the beginning that affected our quality and our profit was just enough to pay our bills, but not the VAT bill that followed which ultimately put us in a position that required the business to close its doors.

There is plenty more to say on the matter, but I can’t think but please feel free to ask a question in the comments and I will be more than happy to answer. Remember failure is just a lesson and those who don't try will never fail at anything other than life because you should follow your heart, and your passion and never be ashamed to admit you failed or made a mistake and know that a true partner in life will never turn their back on you.